Neopronouns
Neopronouns are any pronouns aside from the traditional third person pronouns.Also called gender-neutral or unconventional pronouns, these usually refer to gender-neutral pronouns that are not mainstream. They may or may not be recently created.This page is for learning and understanding neopronouns. It was created by a linguist who has studied both neopronouns and the issues of nonbinary and gender-non-conforming people in language.
Neopronoun, from new and pronoun.
FAQ
Table of Contents
Why do we need non-gendered pronouns?
Why not just use they/them?
But they'll never become accepted in English, so why use them?
Don't neopronouns harm trans people?
Can I use neopronouns if I’m not nonbinary?
How is being anti neopronouns connected to ableism?further answers
What about harmful pronouns? (WIP)
Why do we need non-gendered pronouns?
1. Functionally, it's vastly more effective to have gender-neutral, singular-only pronouns than to only have gendered pronouns!2. Many people are uncomfortable being referred to with gendered pronouns or language. It can be distressing, humiliating, or generally dysphoric to be referred to with pronouns you don't like.
Why not just use they/them?
There are three main reasons why we need more gender-neutral options than just they/them.
Not all languages have gender-neutral pronoun options. Spanish, German, French, and many other languages have very limited options in regards to non-gendered pronouns. Neopronouns refer to the creation of new pronouns in those languages, too.
In English, one of the most common reasons for wanting an alternative to they/them is because of its lack of Subject-Verb Agreement.
Often partially due to point #2, some folks are just more comfortable using an alternative to they/them. At the end of the day it is more worth it to learn something to respect someone than to reject the very idea of something that could help you support them.
But they'll never become accepted in English, so why use them?
Frankly, it doesn't really matter if these pronouns never become part of mainstream English.It matters that you'll respect people enough to try and use the pronouns they're most comfortable with.If you only meet one person who uses neopronouns in your entire life, it will still be important for you to respect them enough to use their pronouns, even if you never meet anyone else who uses them again.I would also be weary of acting like “they’ll never be accepted in English” is a factual statement.Language changes. It fluxuates, shifts, and evolves. I’m not pulling this out of a hat, this is a linguistic fact.Only a few hundred years ago, people were protesting the idea that “you” could be a singular pronoun, rather than the plural pronoun it used to be. (more info)Gender-neutral language is important. It is specifically important for marginalized peoples, like women, trans people, and many other groups.Why don’t you find it worth it enough to try and help marginalized people have language for ourselves, even if that language is new or unconventional?
Don’t neopronouns harm trans people?
First: although some cis people also use neopronouns, the majority of neopronoun-users are trans people.And, coming from a trans person, neopronouns don’t harm trans people. They are, in fact, here to help a specific group of trans people who needed language for themselves.If someone rejects, mocks, and invalidates trans people because someone used neopronouns? The issue is their bigotry, not the neopronouns.Anyone who only supports trans people based on what pronouns they use and whether they’re “normal” enough does not truly support trans people.The trans movement is not about making cis people comfortable.
Can I use neopronouns if I’m not nonbinary?
Yes, absolutely!Generally speaking, anyone can use neopronouns. Even cis people, and even people who aren’t GNC (though arguably, using neopronouns is GNC in itself).In fact, I actually very much encourage people who aren’t nonbinary to also use neopronouns! It opens a way for nonbinary people to use them, and helps normalize them. Most, if not all, nonbinary people I know feel this way, too.All we ask is that you’re respectful of nonbinary people and of the specific connection we have to neopronouns.Pronouns are a form of expression and presentation. They’re similar to nicknames; it’s just a word someone likes others using to refer to them.Neopronouns are intended to be neutral, and that includes not being specific to any gender—forcing all gender-neutral pronouns to be nonbinary-exclusive actually does more harm than good, most of the time.Nonbinary is an umbrella term, and most of us aren’t the same gender at all, so making gender neutral things exclusive to nonbinary people tends to inherently gender them in a way, which is the opposite of what we want. They’re meant to be neutral in the way that anyone of any gender can use them.Feel very free to use whatever neopronouns you want! <3 Seeing people who aren’t nonbinary using neopronouns actually makes me very happy and accepted as a nonbinary person.
How is being anti-neopronoun connected to ableism?
(Note: I am autistic, ADHD, & disabled in several other ways.)Unconventional use of pronouns is an autistic trait; this sometimes manifests as pronoun reversal, other times avoiding pronouns entirely, and in this case, preferring unconventional pronouns. A lot of neopronoun-users are neurodivergent, particularly autistic.A lot of the hatred against neopronoun users is connected to anti-autistic ableism (in large part due to the fact that many neopronoun users are autistic). The mockery of neopronouns as “weird” and “cringe” is one of these.Especially, using the words “weird,” “freaks,” “stupid” etc is ableist behavior, as these are all words connected to ableism, and they all have ableist histories.Read more: one, two, three
Subject-Verb Agreement
One of the primary reasons people may have for choosing alternatives to singular they.
What is Subject-Verb Agreement?
Verbs in English have both plural and singular forms.Plural: have, are, eat
Example: cats are good. They have ears. They eat mice.
We use "are" instead of "is" because cats is plural. It tells you there's more than one cat, or that we're referring to cats in general rather than a specific cat.Singular: has, is, eats
Example: My cat is good. She has ears. She eats mice.
We use "is" rather than "are" because we're talking about a specific, individual cat.Subject-Verb Agreement refers to this, the matching of plural verbs with plural subjects, and the matching of singular verbs with singular subjects.
So why is this relevant?
Singular they has been used as a general pronoun since around the 14th century; from before Shakespeare to modern day.
Yet it breaks Subject-Verb Agreement.
The primary usage of they/them is plural, despite its duality. For the most part, it uses plural verbs even when functionally singular.
The only other pronoun in English that fully breaks Subject-Verb Agreement is you/your, and that's because it used to be primarily plural, too.
Because of this:When most people see they/them in a sentence, they will assume it's plural. Without context, you cannot tell if "They have cats" refers to one person or multiple.Let me be clear: the majority of neopronoun-users are in favor of and educated on singular they/them.But, both linguistically and in regards to people, having a singular, gender-neutral alternative to they/them is a necessary, positive, beneficial thing.Many people simply want gender-neutral pronouns that are only ever singular, that follow Subject-Verb Agreement, and that recognize them as individuals.
resources
info
lists of neopronouns
Traditional pronouns are any pre-existing mainstream pronouns in a language, generally referring specifically to third person pronouns.They/them, she/her, and he/him are all traditional pronouns, rather than neopronouns.
Conventional or conforming neopronouns are pronouns created to closely reflect the structures of traditional pronouns.Unlike nounself pronouns, they are not necessarily based on specific nouns or concepts. And unlike emojiself pronouns, they are intended to be used in a wide variety of circumstances, whether written or oral, much like traditional pronouns.Ey/em/eir are conventional neopronouns. They were created in 1975 by removing "th" from they/them pronouns and using singular verbs.Some examples of conventional neopronouns are:1. Altered versions of traditional pronouns. ex: hy/hym/hys, based on he/him/his2. Pronouns created by combining facets of traditional pronouns.
ex: xe/xem/xir, created from the E in she/he, the E in her and M in him, and the I in his and R in her.3. Pronouns of other origin which still follow simple structures of traditional pronouns.4. (Rarely) Any neopronouns which don't fit into the nounself or emojiself categories.
Nounself pronouns are neopronouns based on specific nouns or concepts.They function similarly to names, and are especially common among autistic trans people (though not exclusively).Technically, any noun could function as a pronoun, as pronouns are just nouns used in place of a name when talking about someone or something.Some people also use nounself pronouns for self-expression.
Emojiself or emoji pronouns are pronouns used in internet spaces with emojis. Since these pronouns aren't meant to be used in all situations, such as oral communications, most emojiself pronoun users have alternative pronouns or options for other situations.
Many nonbinary and GNC people also prefer other gender neutral language when referring to them.This list is based on one compiled at genderqueeries.
Family Titles
My blog is a safe and educational space for learning about, trying out, and using neopronouns.Specifically, I specialize in conventional neopronouns, but people who use nounself and other pronoun types are also safe and welcome here.
Hey, I'm N. I’m an anthropology and linguistics student.• ne/nem/nirs, ey/em/eirs, etc.You can find me here:
requests & advice
My inbox is always open for anyone needing advice or answers to questions, so long as you're respectful. <3A request: asking me to make a certain type of content specifically suited towards your wants and needs.Note: I am a disabled student, so I sometimes take a long while to respond, but I always intend to answer when I can! Please put urgent in your request if you need an immediate response.
types of requests
aesthetic request
Availibility: variable (depends on my time and energy)Requirements: Give me your pronouns, the type of aesthetic, and optionally you can add additional info or aesthetic requests (like “blue colors” or “sapphic e/em aesthetic”).An aesthetic request is for when you’d like me to compile some images or concepts I associate with particular pronouns. Can be either visual (like a mood board) or textual (like short poem).Relevant tags: #aesthetics, #graphicsSend in your request here.
drabble request
Availability: usually available (slow as of 2021/2/11).Requirements: Give me your full set of pronouns, and optionally you can add additional info or requests (like “a Deaf character” “with the name Cody”).A drabble request is for when you’d like me to write a paragraph of a story with the requested pronouns.
Note: If you don’t give me a prompt with your pronouns, I will do something random, so keep that in mind!Relevant tags: #drabbles, #writing, #short storiesSend in your request here.
guide request
Availability: usually available (under construction as of 2021/2/11)Requirements: Note: I don’t currently make guide pages for nounself or emojiself pronouns (see why). First, check whether I already have a guide for it. If not, give me the full set of pronouns, the pronunciation, and any info you know about their creation and origin.A guide is a page dedicated to a certain set of pronouns, teaching you how to use them and the known history of them. I can also make post versions on request.Here is an example of a guide.Relevant tags: #guides, #how to, #infoSend in your request here.
graphic request
Availability: usually available (open as of 2020/12/2)Requirements: Give me the full set of pronouns, and optionally you can add a prompt for an aesthetic (ex: “blue” “forest” etc)A graphic is a photo with text on top, of the pronoun set and an example sentence using them.Relevant tags: #graphics, #images, #aestheticsSend in your request here.
positivity request
Availability: usually available (slow open as of 2021/2/11).Requirements: Tell me something you need to hear, some comfort you’d like to have. NOTE: only send neopronoun related requests to this blog. For other positivity, see here.A positivity is a post with a comforting, affirming, and positive message, usually about a specific topic or issue.Relevant tags: #positivity, #neopronoun positivity, #neopronoun positivity (alt)Send in your request here.
short story request
Availability: variable, occasional (slow as of 2021/2/11).Requirements: Share the full pronoun set, and optionally add a name, topic idea / prompt, and further info (like “a Black character” or “likes cats”).A short story is a short written piece (a few pages or a chapter) featuring a character who uses the requested pronouns.I usually do these as writing practice or for projects. They’re often grouped together (eg, three different requests are combined into one story).(Not to be confused with drabbles, which are much shorter, with only a paragraph or two.)Relevant tags: #short stories, #writing, #drabblesSend in your request here.
validation request
Availability: usually available (slow as of 2021/2/11).Requirements: Share the full pronoun set, and optionally add a name or further info (like “talk about my love of books”).A validation or affirmation is a response talking about you using a name or pronoun. Usually used for trying out new names or pronouns, or for when you just want to see someone use them for you.Relevant tags: #validations, #affirmations, #writingSend in your request here.
voice/audio request
Availability: usually available (slow as of 2021/2/11).Requirements: Share the full pronoun set, and the pronunciation (if you don’t know the pronunciation, tell me to guess). Specify if just the pronunciation, or also an example sentence. Optionally you can add background info like a name, prompt/topic, or interest.A voice or audio request is a short audio recording using or pronouncing a pronoun. Used if you wish to hear a pronoun aloud, or want to learn the pronunciation.Relevant tags: #audo, #voice, #pronunciationSend in your request here.